wa beh tahan liao~~~~

i quite long time i didn't blogging...

i can't even find a place that let me spread my dissatisfaction!!! only here...

since i finish my study, i had already planned that i full time work in takaful but God always tease people! When i back from trip, the company said stop going counter, changing other plan, wait...wait...wait...to now, 4 months already!!! hey, we have no income, we need money to survive! den i go to try work as agent for saving plan real start at July, actually it was on at end of June. but that time i have no transport to do sale, after i get my own car in July, i start to do it.Maybe that was my problem, or this kind of job may not suit for me. it's so tough and super stress!!!!!!!

Because lack of persistence, i decide to look for another full time job. I need to pay my car installment, a huge number, how i can survive without any income, that's already 1 month i didn't have any income after i start to do sale.

Then, I went for many interview. I broke a record, went for 5 interview in a day!! that was many inconvenience: far distance, poor working environment, low salary or lack of benefit...bla bla bla~~~ then i choose a company in Puchong.

After working for a month, i knew lots of secret in this company, it can said i more understand what is this company, and realize that i should leave here and look for other better job. This company can't stay long at all!!!!

Now, i've already had a 1st interview at another company, and i super expect the coming 2nd interview, i hope i can leave this company immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope can start that job asap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wan leave from the hell and back to normal life!!!!!!!

my mummy asking me "can i let him go once a day?"

i said "yes, if got a certain reason".

recently, I'm keeping to think that is it a relationship going long and time, it will be not good for us?

even he did suggest we should enter a new relationship, but i refuse because I felt that was not suitable for me to begin a new status.

now I'm out from the study life, is time to me for starting a new "earning money" life.

i should and must concentrate in my job now, it's important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no much time to spend on our relationship even though I'm so care about it....but i force to do it.

however, my mind is set, but my heart is not, i still think about when can we meet up, what time he will look for me.....sometime, he is really make me so disappointed....

i always looking others couple, envy them why can they always meet up every time but I'm not.

I'm very desirable that we can always meet up, but no just once or twice a week lo!!!

sigh, although there are many hide inside my heart and never spread out to you, i'm really felt grey and speechless to you....

他的害怕....

昨晚，使我觉得最真实、最窝心的。。。

。。。

。。

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我等了好久好久，他都还没出现。我真的很够力生气！！

上到车，他对我说了迟到的原因，其实我已经知道，他也通知了我，但是我就是严恶等待的感觉！！！还没上车之前，我已经告诉我自己把那感觉忘掉，尽量消除，但。。。。怎知一看到他，不知不觉火就来了，面超黑，我也不想的。。。

他不但的哄我。。。哄我。。。。

。

。

。

直到。。。

（我们谈了很多，但是我忘了谈什么话题了。。。。“失意症”）

。

。

我很想能快点和你注册，那你就是我真正的妻子，我想跟你生活一辈子，有一个家庭、有小孩。

我问他为什么是我？我问他是否确定是我吗？

他很肯定的，也认定了。

我和他在一起那么久了，没有看过他如此地认真、如此的害怕。。。

他原本是不肯说的，因为他怕他说时他会流泪。。

但他还是说了

那一晚、那一句让我最心软的话

他说他害怕失去我，还怕以后不能和我在一起

他感觉到我渐渐变了（我也了，但不是变得不爱他[懂我的人，你们应该明了]）

那一晚他抱得我很紧。。很紧。。。。

那种感觉

昨晚，我看了某某人的部落格，很惊讶很意外的，得知他与她分了。。。

然后又在另一秒得知他原来已经与另一个她已经一个月多了。。。

那种感觉--感叹。。。

才发现原来爱情、感情可以那么的肤浅。。。

dreaming

i'm dreaming of u again~~

i really don't know why i always keep dreaming that you were bully me in the dreams...

i always being moody after that

i knew that was fong mou.... without no reason at all

do you know? i felt lonely recently without you and your sound....

i'm always waiting your phone and hope you will come and look for me

but i knew you are busy in your career, you need earn money when you are young now, i knew it all, but i can't control my cognition and emotion...

haiz, can't imagine our future life...

emotion

i'm so moody now, don't know why, no reason at all...

stay at friend's house for doing the proposal. at 9 sth, we decided go to take supper at downstairs mamak. i told him inform me b4 he come n fetch me. he was arrived when i still not finish supper yet. it's very "qiao" that the girl come to mamak also when Ivan reach about minutes.....he is so x manners, x gentlemen at all in front of my friends. i'm very paiseh, shame.....when u r moving seat to the girl's table....do u think about my feel?? do u think u need to get my permission before u act??? after we paid, when i ask i need to take my bag at my fren's house, u show me an unpleasant face, it let me getting more worse!!!u drove the car urself to the entrance but we, three ladies walk back and go to 3th floor to take my things. is it u lost all the man's gentlemen?? u thought u knew why and what i'm unhappy to????!!! nope, u never ever know it. it is because you don't understand what is woman.

blue

people said things right, monday blue, it's really damn monday blue.....

Shouldn't i care about other person matters??

i know i should not...

i'll try to control my mind and action ----> do not to geibo people's things

coz the consequence will be worst as u imagine....

Grace, can u consider more about yourself???

you can't even manage your things well but go to care about other people things and it's unnesscessary tooo.......

wake up Grace!!!